Are Traditions Important?
We are heading into a season of opportunity. For some families, Thanksgiving and Christmas can help define who they are. For others, these holidays are little more than eating and expense. Where do family traditions fit in? They might be one of the most important parts of the holiday season. In fact, Tevye, in Fiddler on the Roof, kept singing that traditions were the sign posts that kept a family going in difficult times. We are certainly in some difficult times.
Where did our traditions go? For some reason, many families left the traditions at grandma's house. Maybe we need to go back to grandma’s house, at least in our minds, if not "over the river and through the woods" Traditions are the repetitive activities that can help children feel as if they are a part of a family that is special. In our time conscious society, the only traditions that linger in many families are eating turkey one day in November and shopping in December. These traditions can expand our waist lines and credit card balances but the family can benefit from more meaningful traditions.
No one will take the time to bring back family traditions unless they can see the value in them. One value in family traditions is family unity. Children are made to feel as if they and their family are special if they can anticipate positive, predictable events at Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Consider Thanksgiving this month. When children participate in yearly traditions that are unique to their family they feel like they are part of something special. If their Thanksgiving feast is exactly the same as every other family's feast, why come home for the holidays? Thanksgiving is an opportunity to focus on the unique and sometimes ethnic or cultural individuality of their particular family.
The child will love them and the teen might baulk, but eventually the traditions will help create a sense of being part of something bigger than themselves - a family! Today's child is wondering if their family is going to stay together. Far too frequently they are watching their friends’ homes break up. Traditions won't save a marriage, but they will comfort the child and make him feel as if his family is unique.
Thanksgiving offers the opportunity to enjoy special foods that might seem strange to other children but are comfortably predictable to the child who has grown up with green bean casserole or pecan pie. That child may never say, "I appreciate the fact that you always make this casserole," but wait until the year mom doesn't make it. "Hey, Mom, where's the casserole?" Children enjoy the comfort of predictability.
Certain foods are an important part of family traditions but they are just the beginning. Another important opportunity is reuniting with extended family. Yes, we all have family members that are different-those we would prefer not to invite. (I know that because I seem to get invited less and less each year.) But they are still family and there are lessons to be taught about odd people like obnoxious Uncle Bob. Thanksgiving can be an opportunity to teach the traditional lesson that a child has people who care for them, a support system, that extends beyond the immediate family.
The most instructive opportunity is to create and maintain a tradition of purpose. What is the purpose of Thanksgiving? For that we need to go back to the root of this holiday: the first Thanksgiving.
I’m not sure schools are teaching the children that the first Thanksgiving was held at a time of crisis - a much bigger time of crisis than our economy has today. A harsh winter and a shortage of food left the Pilgrims obviously dependent upon God for the rescue. Sure enough, God, as he often does us today, rescued the Pilgrims through the assistance of their neighbors, the native Americans of that region. The first Thanksgiving started just as its name implies, as a tradition of gratitude to God for meeting needs abundantly.
Remembering God’s faithfulness at the first Thanksgiving is a tradition that can bring comfort at this Thanksgiving as this could be a time of fear for the American child. The nation is focused on the difficult economy. A child would have to be in a bubble to miss this. A revival of the tradition of true Thanksgiving has never been more needed in this generation.
In our house we start Thanksgiving week each year by taping a large sheet of poster board to the refrigerator with a pen close at hand. Each family member and visitor is expected to write things on the poster board that he or she is grateful for this year: things God has done in their lives. We personalize it by putting our initials next to what we write. This tradition of writing usually needs to start with the dad so the children, especially the teenagers, think it's mature to add to the list. On Thanksgiving Day the poster board is read at the table. The purpose of this tradition is obvious - we want to create an attitude of gratefulness to God and a confidence in God.
The most meaningful Thanksgiving tradition is bringing this holiday back to its original intent. The tradition of thanking God for His blessings gives children a confidence beyond their families' limitations. The tradition is about more than turkey. It is about confidence in the power of God - a tradition today's child desperately needs.
Psalm 100:4-5 NLT