Are Traditions Important? We are heading into a season of opportunity. For some families, Thanksgiving and Christmas can help define who they are. For others, these holidays are little more than eating and expense. Where do family traditions fit in? .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 10/29/2008

Making Your Child's Vote Count Who taught you how to vote? Do you vote along the lines of your parents' political party? Do you do your own research or do you allow the media to decide what information is vital? A question .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 09/26/2008

Imagination Rejuvenation Remember the adventures you experienced as a child? You were fearless. Nothing was too big for you to battle. Your imagination swept you away to far off lands and you were certain you could conquer the many .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 09/25/2008

Extreme Behavior: When Children Cut Themselves "Cutting is the new smoking among adolescents today." Take a moment to consider this frightening concept and its possible ramifications. The clinical term for cutting is called "self-mutilation," and it is more common than one may think. It is estimated .... By: Victoria Womack, L.M.H.C.Posted: 08/28/2008

Help! My Child Might Be Cutting Today, "cutting" has become a very private reaction to personal pain for many teens, especially girls. They feel unequipped to deal with or express their pain so cutting themselves has become an outlet. The teen is reacting to pain inappropriately, .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 08/28/2008

7 Steps To Starting The School Year Strong Beginnings are extremely important because they set the stage for what is to come. They determine whether one will be set up for success and fulfillment or for failure and frustration. As a new school year begins, it is a .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 08/01/2008

Should Parents Raise A Patriot? With all the controversy about decisions made by governmental leaders both now and after the election, many parents question whether or not they should teach patriotism to their children. They wonder if patriotism is merely blind acceptance of the ruling .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 07/01/2008

Dads, The Heroes We Need Today Father's Day ought to be Hero's Day - a day when the traditional role of "Dad" is celebrated so the next generation can see it for what it needs to be. It is time for each of us with children .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 06/01/2008

What Do I Do About Temper Tantrums? Picture yourself in the grocery store with your three year old. You turn down the next aisle – and you both spot the cookies at the same time. The visual stimulus, though identical, produces two very different responses. You are .... By: Dr Bob BarnesPosted: 05/01/2008

When Parents Don't Agree On Parenting "The disruptive behavior I could handle. The most stressful time as a parent is when my husband and I don’t agree how to handle the child’s behavior. When my husband and I don’t agree the whole system shuts down." That's absolutely .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/01/2008

Right To Privacy? How much privacy should my child have? A child screams, “This is my room – get out!” What’s a parent to do? A teenager challenges, “I can’t believe you went through my drawers!” How should a parent feel, and react? The issue of privacy for our children is .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 03/01/2008

Age of Innocence? Is Your Child growing Up Without a Childhood? What would life be like without a childhood? The years of imagination, wonder and innocence that shape every one of us, gone. Would the absence of this stage of life subsequently reshape adulthood into years of insecurity and cynicism? My .... By: Torrey RobertsPosted: 02/01/2008

Are You Listening? Why have America's children turned to electronics for companionship? Today's parents have very mixed emotions about the technology available to their children. On the one hand parents are grateful to have access to portable DVD players, games, I-Pods, etc. It .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 01/01/2008

Step Eleven: Teaching My Child About Sex As you look at our culture, it's obvious we are not sure about the role or the purpose that our sexuality plays.  For far too long the Christian home has attempted to teach a child about sex with one word: .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 11/01/2007

Step Ten: Teach Your Child to Handle Peer Pressure "Help! My child just got invited to a party!" Parents aren't really afraid of parties; it's the massive pool of peer pressure that strikes fear into the hearts of concerned parents. Parents handle parties in one of three ways. Some parents .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 10/01/2007

Step Nine: It's About Tme The school year has just begun, and parents, you are already stressing: "There just isn't enough time to do all the things we need to do!" Between school, sports, music lessons (or have you already dropped that one?), and church .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 09/01/2007

Step Eight: Train Them to Think Wisely "Dad, how do you know which way is right?" my young daughter asked as we looked through a National Geographic magazine, scanning an article about evolution. Her question is significant, isn't it? Where do we go for answers? How do .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 08/01/2007

Step Seven: Teach Them to Use Money or Money Will Use Them Think about the most challenging obstacle you faced when you became an "adult."  It is during childhood that an adult needs to spend time preparing for the potential challenges of adulthood.  If a child lacks the skills necessary to succeed .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 07/01/2007

Step Six: Plant the Right Things in Summer Vacation, lazy days, visits to the park, swimming, relaxing at the beach? Or is summer only a leftover idea from a previous era—agrarian days when children were taken out of school to help on the farm?That’s the problem, isn’t it? .... By: Dr Bob BarnesPosted: 06/01/2007

Step Five: Training Your Child to Be Successful in Adulthood Years ago I was preparing to spend several weekends in Mexico City. I decided to take a Spanish course so I could at least ask for agua when I was thirsty. However, the class I took was more frustrating than .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 05/01/2007

Step Four: A Template for Decision Making "But how do you know how to make the right decision?" asked a 13-year-old boy living at Sheridan House. He had just made yet another bad decision with some friends at school. His consequence was to cut grass that afternoon .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/01/2007

Step Three: No Must Mean No Each month of 2007, The Family Advocate presents a step in an intentional plan for parenting. Instead of parenting by incident or activity, we are parenting on purpose. January’s article kicked off with the challenge to choose to parent your .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 03/01/2007

Step Two: Keep Your Parenting Balance Much of life is about balance—finding a balance between work and play or maintaining a balanced budget. In the Parenting on Purpose process, nothing is more important than the balance between relationship and discipline. The right disciplinary program gives a child .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 02/01/2007

The Twelve Steps of Parenting Recently I bought a piece of furniture—a large hardwood table. When it arrived, the table came in a box from another country, and had eighty pieces to assemble. Included was a small wrench and a 28-page book of directions. The .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 01/01/2007

Don't Miss Opening the Best Christmas Gifts The amount of time parents spend planning, shopping, buying, wrapping, opening, and then storing Christmas presents is astounding. If we added up all the time we spend in the holiday gift process, I hope we’d be embarrassed. Time so wasted. .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 12/01/2006

Why is "Thank You" So Important? Understanding "Thank You" is one of the most missing elements in our culture.  "Thank you" is also one of the most important lessons a parent should teach a child. One of the most significant realities we need to teach our .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 11/01/2006

What Do I Do About Lying (part 2) Last month we began discussing what parents should do when children are lying. I gave the example of a child lying due to low self-esteem.  But what about the lie that signals a little more than, "I don't want to .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 10/01/2006

Self-Esteem: What Mirror Do You Hold Up? When Torrey, my oldest child, began school, somehow I felt she no longer needed my approval as much as before. She was older, and other people, like her teachers, were in charge. Because Daddy was so busy, I began to .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 08/01/2006

Marriage - A Strong Foundation Why does it seem so difficult for people to stay married these days? Why do people choose to live together before marriage even though the divorce rate is higher for those who cohabit before marriage? We are surrounded by married .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 06/01/2006

Do You Want to Raise a Child or an Adult? I was standing on the sideline of my younger child’s soccer field. My son, Robey, was ten at the time, and playing in one of his last games of the season. While standing with several other dads, one of them .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 05/01/2006

What Do I Do About Lying? Part 2 Last month we began discussing what parents should do when children are lying. I gave the example of a child lying due to low self-esteem.  But what about the lie that signals little more than, “I don’t want to get .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/01/2006

What Do I Do About Lying? Part 1 of 2 “His constant lying is driving me crazy!” This is not an unusual comment to hear from a parent of a seven or eight-year-old. Parents always want to know why their child doesn’t tell the truth, and perhaps that is the .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 03/01/2006

Who Is Responsible? IN MANY HOMES parents accept too much responsibility for their child’s behavior.  Pete and Diane were parents that shouldered all the responsibility for the behavior and consequences of their son, Nathan.Nathan’s behavior had progressed to a point where he wasn’t .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 02/01/2006

Time For A "STATE OF YOUR UNION" January is the month that we review the events of the last year.  The President gives us a State of the Union Address.  He reviews last year and gives us his plans for the next year.  Some Churches report on .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 01/01/2006

The Myth Of Fair “Why did God let this happen to us, mommy?”  This is a question eight year old Jennifer asked while her mommy was putting her to bed.  It is a logical question to ask after this season of hurricanes, and it .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 12/01/2005

This Season of Hurricanes Actually Offered Us a Blessing The book of Romans makes an incredibly brash declaration: And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).  However, what about hurricanes?  .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 11/01/2005

Parents, Make Storms Work For You Are storms good for anything?  Jesus sure thought they were.  On more than one occasion He sent his Disciples directly into a storm.  Jesus used storms as great learning tools, and as parents, we can certainly follow His example.  Since .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 10/01/2005

What Do We Need Family For? We are heading deeper into a time when our society is questioning the need for the traditional family structure.  Questions are being asked like: “Do we really need family?  Does it really fit this modern culture?  Does the traditional family .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 09/01/2005

Use The Four "Rs" And Have A Winning School Year! Parents could learn a lot from professional football coaches.  Right now before the season begins, coaches are not just thinking about getting through it.  They are already working to help every player bring his “A” game to opening day. The coaching .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 08/01/2005

Your Child's Failures are Great Instructors “We want every child to be free of the fear of failure,” was the statement an educator recently said to me.  This particular school system was pursuing up a new way of evaluating the educational progress of their students.  No .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 07/01/2005

Family Life Savings Time In April of each year we reset our clocks and spring forward.  Again, in October we reset our clocks and fall back one hour.  I vote for another shift in scheduling.  Along with daylight savings time, summers need to become .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 06/15/2005

Two Words Every Father Must Say Years ago I was standing in the front yard of one the boys’ homes at Sheridan House having a heated discussion with one of the twelve year old boys in the program.  He had been accused of doing something at .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 06/01/2005

Mother's Day Is For Your Kids If you were given the plot to destroy the American culture, the obvious place to begin would be the family.  The family is the training ground for societal necessities such as commitment to others and compassion for others.  The family .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 05/01/2005

Teaching The Most Difficult Lesson This past month I saw one of the most amazing displays of great parenting I have ever seen.  There are arguably seven or eight things every child needs to know in order to be able to find God’s plan for .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/01/2005

Lose The Bunny Use The Eggs The most significant holiday on the Christian calendar is once again upon us.   This special day, however is so clouded by cultural tradition, that many church attendees have forgotten what they are to celebrate.  One woman went so far as .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 03/01/2005

Raise Your Child to be a Great Lover This being the “Love Month” the topic of love is worthy of discussion … even in a parenting article.  In fact, teaching children the proper understanding of love might be one of the most neglected areas of parenting.  And, that .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 02/01/2005

Are You In the Ultimate Family Reality Show? Have you ever felt like you are on a “Family Reality” show?  That there are just too many family and parenting responsibilities, and it is impossible to get them all done?  There must be a hidden camera somewhere in the .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 01/01/2005

The Origin Of My Best Christmas All of my life Christmas has been one of the most exciting times of the year.  Beginning with intense expectancy on Christmas Eve, I anxiously awaited the gifts I would receive from my wonderfully, overindulgent parents.  This excitement carried over .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 12/01/2004

There's Something Similar About Palm Pilots and Sex There is something similar about sex and my Palm Pilot.  When I was given the gift of my first Palm Pilot,  no one gave me instructions on its use.  Nor did I bother to read the instructions on its use.  .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 11/01/2004

Preparing Your Child For Hurricanes The media does a great job of getting us ready for hurricanes.  During this time of the year, there are many families glued to the television watching  as hurricanes intensify off shore.  At the same time, there are little eyes .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 10/01/2004

Affair Proofing Your Child's Marriage "Can a parent actually affair proof their child's marriage?"  We're certainly supposed to try.  As parents we must have a mind set to take steps to affair proof the future marriages of our children.  Today's parent must take the training .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 09/01/2004

The Most Important Parent Planning Month I recently attended a church potluck dinner.  There was an astounding amount of food on the tables, as well as an overwhelming variety of delicacies.  Rosemary (my wife), decided ahead of time what she would eat and carefully chose how .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 08/01/2004

Value Family with Family Values What is the value of family today?  Does family still have a purpose?  Should we still value the family unit, as we have known it for thousands of years?We certainly should not value family simply for the sake of tradition.  .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 07/01/2004

My Child Has Become A Lawyer -- He Loves to Argue! It is good for your lawyer to enjoy arguing, because that is what they are trained to do.  Perhaps that is why some children do a lot of arguing.  As parents, we have inadvertently trained our child to argue.If you .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 06/01/2004

Raise Your Child To Be Business Wise Today, are we training a child to handle business transactions or are most children left to be eaten alive by the sharks of sales?  Parents must prepare the next generation how to speak up and negotiate proper business deals.  If .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 05/01/2004

You Need A Mommy Very Badly It was one of the great lines from the movie "Hook".  Dustin Hoffman, playing Captain Hook, was being rude and behaving so poorly that the little six year daughter of Peter Pan realized what the need was in this bad .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/01/2004

Send Your Child Through Temptation Camp Today’s parents are doing a lot of great training, and preparing their children academically and athletically.  Many parents have accepted the assignment of building the faith of their offspring  but, there is another very important lesson that needs to be .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 03/01/2004

Dealing With Relationship CANCER: ANGER Some children hear the word "No" and they become frustrated or argue. They are disappointed, but they remain in control.  Other children hear the same word and explode into rage.   Some adults can discuss differences of opinion and work through .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 02/01/2004

Use Those "TIME EATING" Christmas Gifts To Teach Last month I received a phone call from a parent asking my opinion about Play Station and other forms of video games.  The mother calling asked, 'Doesn’t these video games become addictive and cause kids to waste many precious hours .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 01/01/2004

Figuring Out Romance It was our eighth year of marriage and my wife Rosemary asked me a very defining question.  "Do you think a night of romance is always supposed to end with sex?"I stared off into space knowing that my answer was .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 12/01/2003

Is It A Problem When Parents Do Not Agree? Is it okay for a husband and wife to disagree on the way they parent their child? This is a question asked at Parenting Seminars almost every week. It is not only okay, it is natural!  The top three areas .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 11/01/2003

The Electronic Family Moat It is dinnertime and the phone starts ringing.  Some of the calls are salesmen, some calls are from friends; but they are still interrupting your family time.  Why do we permit that interruption to happen? The year was 1990 and .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 10/01/2003

The Final Lesson Before Leaving Home For the past eight months this column has described six mandatory lessons every child must be taught before leaving home.  It all begins with a core value. Every child must be taught to function from a core value rather than .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 09/01/2003

Helping Your Child With Emotions Seven-year old Larry was brought to a counselor because he was using inappropriate behavior for handling his disappointments.  In other words, he was hitting other kids when he did not get his way.Yesterday's child learned how to deal with emotions .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 08/01/2003

Time To Talk About Sex For thousands of years children grew up in an agrarian culture.  That meant by four or five years of age they had already seen farm animals engaged in sexual activities.  It was not a shock to them; it was simply .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 07/01/2003

It's Time To Teach Time Mothers across America have been heard to say, "I hope you know we will never go through this again!"  This phrase has been shouted right after the weekend of the science project nightmare.  Once again the project has been put .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 03/01/2003